Thanksgiving time is rolling around... and then Christmas. Let us all strive to seek Him wholeheartedly and surrender with utter abandon. Give thanks every day for the blessings we have in this life and in the life to come.


more later...

Cycles...

So I have decided that it is really hard to be a Christian. Day after day I feel like I fail. I feel as if I am sliding down this slope toward utter abandon. And then Something reaches down out of the miry depths and picks be back up again. He picks me up, brushes me off, and breathes new hope into my soul. He gently reminds me of the reason for life.

I wonder sometimes why life is so hard. I wonder why I struggle to keep on top of things at school. I wonder why I seem to loose connections with the ones I love the most. I wonder why I struggle to keep my integrity in tact... and then... when I feel as though I cannot try any longer, a gentle tug at my heart tells me to reach. Reach toward Him- the one who sustains, comforts, controls, loves. Reach toward Him and He will entange your heart with His love. As I read through old diary entries, I see myself in a cycle, like the children of Israel. I struggle in sin, I look to anywhere else but to Him, I cry out to Him, He saves me, I praise Him for a time, and then fall right back into my old habits again. Each cycle gets worse and worse. The sin gets more entrapping, the desire to seek to fulfill my need in anything but God gets all the more desirable, but His presence is all the more astounding. When times are the toughest, the Lord is the strongest.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Is Life Sacred Anymore?

Look at this: A key issue on the sanctity of life....

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/08/voters_should_be_trouble.html

His Word Graven on My Heart

God has changed me in some extraordinary ways this summer. I have been stretched and grown into more of a godly woman. And I am not saying that to be boastful of myself, but to be boastful of my God! God has convicted me of many things and has incited desires in my heart that were not there two months ago.

I have recently taken on the task of memorizing the book of James. Through the prodding of the Spirit, I have realized that scripture memorization is utterly important to a Christian'sk with Christ. I found this verse to be rather persuasive: "The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward." Psalm 19:7-11 NIV

His precepts are RIGHT, His commands are RADIANT, His ordinances are SURE and RIGHTEOUS, more precious than gold, more sweeter than honey....

How can we not meditate on His law? How can we not take his word and hide it in our hearts??

While I was in Northern Ireland last fall, Gracia Burnham came to the college I was studing at. She, along with her husband, Martin Burnham, were missionaries in the Philippines. In 2001, they were kidnapped and held hostage by Al-Kida linked terrorists. Due to their native country (the US) they were held for a year and a half in hopes of reaching a ransom agreement with the US. They were held for a YEAR AND A HALF! That is over 550 days! They were held as hostages, running from village to village with these terrorists who were fighting against the people trying to save the hostages. Long story short, Martin was killed a day before they were rescued. Gracia now travels the world telling their story and bringing others to the saving knowledge of Christ. She wrote a book of their story and I have read it. The thing that really has been on my mind lately, as it refers to scripture memorization is that this couple had no Bible during their year and a half of imprisonment. All they had was what they had commited to memory. Gracia talked about how they sat down and wrote every verse that they could remember out on little scraps of paper, candy wrappers, toilet paper... anything. That was their Bible.

What if we ended up in a place where we had no Bible? I have gotten so used to carrying a Bible right in my purse, wherever I go , i have the Word. I keep thinking... I am going on the mission field, and if that word gets taken from me, do I have it in my heart and mind? Stored up to use?

That is why I am memorizing James. Not just to be encouraged strengthened by the words, but also to prepare myself for the possibility of an unaccessible Bible. I know it may sound crazy, but hiding the Word in your heart, for any reason, is reason enough. :)

well, that is all for now. i will write more on what God has been teaching me at a later date....

God Bless.

Meaningless Circles

Today all I wanted was to lounge around and watch a movie. I did not want to do anything remotely resembling work. I did not want to do my quiet time. I did not want to think about anything but myself. But something was telling me, open your Bible, you numb-scull! So I went outside to a nearby outdoor cafe, and opened my Bible. I nonchalantly opened to Joshua. I have no clue why I did, but something was drawing me to the Old Testament. (That "something" of course was the Holy Spirit) I read the story of Joshua and the battle of Jericho. I have read that story a million times. I have heard it preached on a million and one times. But something stuck out to me today. The Israelites were commanded to march around the city, not once, but SEVEN times for SEVEN days! And they weren't even allowed to utter one battle cry. If I was there, I would have wanted to scream and shout all day long just to make sure those enemies knew we were there... and it probably would have made that seven circle task a little more interesting. But they were commanded to wait. But in the end, they were allowed to scream all they want and the walls just came a tumblin down!

How many times in my life do I want to just grab life by the horns and make it happen? I want to move to Africa right NOW. But I can't. God has me in this "meaningless circling" called school for another two years and then he will usher in his bigger purposes for my life.

Sometimes He will teach you something when you least expect it.... listen to Him....

Obama on Religion and Politics

Here is a speech by Sen. Barack Obama: Read it and see what you think.... Side note: I, in no way, am either condoning Obama or discrediting him. My professor at Moody recommended this to us. It really made me think. See for yourself!

Call to Renewal Keynote Address

Washington, DC

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006



Good morning. I appreciate the opportunity to speak here at the Call to Renewal’s Building a Covenant for a New America conference, and I’d like to congratulate you all on the thoughtful presentations you’ve given so far about poverty and justice in America. I think all of us would affirm that caring for the poor finds root in all of our religious traditions – certainly that’s true for my own.

But today I’d like to talk about the connection between religion and politics and perhaps offer some thoughts about how we can sort through some of the often bitter arguments over this issue over the last several years.

I do so because, as you all know, we can affirm the importance of poverty in the Bible and discuss the religious call to environmental stewardship all we want, but it won’t have an impact if we don’t tackle head-on the mutual suspicion that sometimes exists between religious America and secular America.

For me, this need was illustrated during my 2004 face for the U.S. Senate. My opponent, Alan Keyes, was well-versed in the Jerry Falwell-Pat Robertson style of rhetoric that often labels progressives as both immoral and godless.

Indeed, towards the end of the campaign, Mr. Keyes said that, “Jesus Christ would not vote for Barack Obama. Christ would not vote for Barack Obama because Barack Obama has behaved in a way that it is inconceivable for Christ to have behaved.

Now, I was urged by some of my liberal supporters not to take this statement seriously. To them, Mr. Keyes was an extremist, his arguments not worth entertaining.

What they didn’t understand, however, was that I had to take him seriously. For he claimed to speak for my religion – he claimed knowledge of certain truths.

Mr. Obama says he’s a Christian, he would say, and yet he supports a lifestyle that the Bible calls an abomination.

Mr. Obama says he’s a Christian, but supports the destruction of innocent and sacred life.

What would my supporters have me say? That a literalist reading of the Bible was folly? That Mr. Keyes, a Roman Catholic, should ignore the teachings of the Pope?

Unwilling to go there, I answered with the typically liberal response in some debates – namely, that we live in a pluralistic society, that I can’t impose my religious views on another, that I was running to be the U.S. Senator of Illinois and not the Minister of Illinois.

But Mr. Keyes implicit accusation that I was not a true Christian nagged at me, and I was also aware that my answer didn’t adequately address the role my faith has in guiding my own values and beliefs.

My dilemma was by no means unique. In a way, it reflected the broader debate we’ve been having in this country for the last thirty years over the role of religion in politics.

For some time now, there has been plenty of talk among pundits and pollsters that the political divide in this country has fallen sharply along religious lines. Indeed, the single biggest “gap" in party affiliation among white Americans today is not between men and women, or those who reside in so-called Red States and those who reside in Blue, but between those who attend church regularly and those who don’t.

Conservative leaders, from Falwell and Robertson to Karl Rove and Ralph Reed, have been all too happy to exploit this gap, consistently reminding evangelical Christians that Democrats disrespect their values and dislike their Church, while suggesting to the rest of the country that religious Americans care only about issues like abortion and gay marriage; school prayer and intelligent design.

Democrats, for the most part, have taken the bait. At best, we may try to avoid the conversation about religious values altogether, fearful of offending anyone and claiming that – regardless of our personal beliefs – constitutional principles tie our hands. At worst, some liberals dismiss religion in the public square as inherently irrational or intolerant, insisting on a caricature of religious Americans that paints them as fanatical, or thinking that the very word "Christian" describes one’s political opponents, not people of faith.

Such strategies of avoidance may work for progressives when the opponent is Alan Keyes. But over the long haul, I think we make a mistake when we fail to acknowledge the power of faith in the lives of the American people, and join a serious debate about how to reconcile faith with our modern, pluralistic democracy.

We first need to understand that Americans are a religious people. 90 percent of us believe in God, 70 percent affiliate themselves with an organized religion, 38 percent call themselves committed Christians, and substantially more people believe in angels than do those who believe in evolution.

This religious tendency is not simply the result of successful marketing by skilled preachers or the draw of popular mega-churches. In fact, it speaks to a hunger that’s deeper than that – a hunger that goes beyond any particular issue or cause.

Each day, it seems, thousands of Americans are going about their daily round – dropping off the kids at school, driving to the office, flying to a business meeting, shopping at the mall, trying to stay on their diets – and coming to the realization that something is missing. They are deciding that their work, their possessions, their diversions, their sheer busyness, is not enough.

They want a sense of purpose, a narrative arc to their lives. They’re looking to relieve a chronic loneliness, a feeling supported by a recent study that shows Americans have fewer close friends and confidants than ever before. And so they need an assurance that somebody out there cares about them, is listening to them – that they are not just destined to travel down a long highway towards nothingness.

I speak from experience here. I was not raised in a particularly religious household. My father, who returned to Kenya when I was just two, was Muslim but as an adult became an atheist. My mother, whose parents were non-practicing Baptists and Methodists, grew up with a healthy skepticism of organized religion herself. As a consequence, I did too.

It wasn’t until after college, when I went to Chicago to work as a community organizer for a group of Christian churches, that I confronted my own spiritual dilemma.

The Christians who I worked with recognized themselves in me; they saw that I knew their Book and shared their values and sang their songs. But they sensed a part of me that remained removed, detached, an observer in their midst. In time, I too came to realize that something was missing – that without a vessel for my beliefs, without a commitment to a particular community of faith, at some level I would always remain apart and alone.

If not for the particular attributes of the historically black church, I may have accepted this fate. But as the months passed in Chicago, I found myself drawn to the church.

For one thing, I believed and still believe in the power of the African-American religious tradition to spur social change, a power made real by some of the leaders here today. Because of its past, the black church understands in an intimate way the Biblical call to feed the hungry and cloth the naked and challenge powers and principalities. And in its historical struggles for freedom and the rights of man, I was able to see faith as more than just a comfort to the weary or a hedge against death; it is an active, palpable agent in the world. It is a source of hope.

And perhaps it was out of this intimate knowledge of hardship, the grounding of faith in struggle, that the church offered me a second insight: that faith doesn’t mean that you don’t have doubts. You need to come to church precisely because you are of this world, not apart from it; you need to embrace Christ precisely because you have sins to wash away – because you are human and need an ally in your difficult journey.

It was because of these newfound understandings that I was finally able to walk down the aisle of Trinity United Church of Christ one day and affirm my Christian faith. It came about as a choice, and not an epiphany; the questions I had did not magically disappear. But kneeling beneath that cross on the South Side of Chicago, I felt I heard God’s spirit beckoning me. I submitted myself to His will, and dedicated myself to discovering His truth.

The path I traveled has been shared by millions upon millions of Americans – evangelicals, Catholics, Protestants, Jews and Muslims alike; some since birth, others at a turning point in their lives. It is not something they set apart from the rest of their beliefs and values. In fact, it is often what drives them.

This is why, if we truly hope to speak to people where they’re at – to communicate our hopes and values in a way that’s relevant to their own – we cannot abandon the field of religious discourse.

Because when we ignore the debate about what it means to be a good Christian or Muslim or Jew; when we discuss religion only in the negative sense of where or how it should not be practiced, rather than in the positive sense of what it tells us about our obligations towards one another; when we shy away from religious venues and religious broadcasts because we assume that we will be unwelcome – others will fill the vacuum, those with the most insular views of faith, or those who cynically use religion to justify partisan ends.

In other words, if we don’t reach out to evangelical Christians and other religious Americans and tell them what we stand for, Jerry Falwell’s and Pat Robertson’s will continue to hold sway.

More fundamentally, the discomfort of some progressives with any hint of religion has often prevented us from effectively addressing issues in moral terms. Some of the problem here is rhetorical – if we scrub language of all religious content, we forfeit the imagery and terminology through which millions of Americans understand both their personal morality and social justice. Imagine Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address without reference to "the judgments of the Lord", or King’s I Have a Dream speech without reference to "all of God’s children". Their summoning of a higher truth helped inspire what had seemed impossible and move the nation to embrace a common destiny.

Our failure as progressives to tap into the moral underpinnings of the nation is not just rhetorical. Our fear of getting "preachy" may also lead us to discount the role that values and culture play in some of our most urgent social problems.

After all, the problems of poverty and racism, the uninsured and the unemployed, are not simply technical problems in search of the perfect ten point plan. They are rooted in both societal indifference and individual callousness – in the imperfections of man.

Solving these problems will require changes in government policy; it will also require changes in hearts and minds. I believe in keeping guns out of our inner cities, and that our leaders must say so in the face of the gun manufacturer’s lobby – but I also believe that when a gang-banger shoots indiscriminately into a crowd because he feels somebody disrespected him, we have a problem of morality; there’s a hole in that young man’s heart – a hole that government programs alone cannot fix.

I believe in vigorous enforcement of our non-discrimination laws; but I also believe that a transformation of conscience and a genuine commitment to diversity on the part of the nation’s CEOs can bring quicker results than a battalion of lawyers.

I think we should put more of our tax dollars into educating poor girls and boys, and give them the information about contraception that can prevent unwanted pregnancies, lower abortion rates, and help assure that that every child is loved and cherished. But my bible tells me that if we train a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not turn from it. I think faith and guidance can help fortify a young woman’s sense of self, a young man’s sense of responsibility, and a sense of reverence all young people for the act of sexual intimacy.

I am not suggesting that every progressive suddenly latch on to religious terminology. Nothing is more transparent than inauthentic expressions of faith – the politician who shows up at a black church around election time and claps – off rhythm – to the gospel choir.

But what I am suggesting is this – secularists are wrong when they ask believers to leave their religion at the door before entering into the public square. Frederick Douglas, Abraham Lincoln, Williams Jennings Bryant, Dorothy Day, Martin Luther King – indeed, the majority of great reformers in American history – were not only motivated by faith, but repeatedly used religious language to argue for their cause. To say that men and women should not inject their “personal morality" into public policy debates is a practical absurdity; our law is by definition a codification of morality, much of it grounded in the Judeo-Christian tradition.

Moreover, if we progressives shed some of these biases, we might recognize the overlapping values that both religious and secular people share when it comes to the moral and material direction of our country. We might recognize that the call to sacrifice on behalf of the next generation, the need to think in terms of "thou" and not just "I", resonates in religious congregations across the country. And we might realize that we have the ability to reach out to the evangelical community and engage millions of religious Americans in the larger project of America’s renewal.

Some of this is already beginning to happen. Pastors like Rick Warren and T.D. Jakes are wielding their enormous influences to confront AIDS, Third World debt relief, and the genocide in Darfur. Religious thinkers and activists like my friend Jim Wallis and Tony Campolo are lifting up the Biblical injunction to help the poor as a means of mobilizing Christians against budget cuts to social programs and growing inequality. National denominations have shown themselves as a force on Capitol Hill, on issues such as immigration and the federal budget. And across the country, individual churches like my own are sponsoring day care programs, building senior centers, helping ex-offenders reclaim their lives, and rebuilding our gulf coast in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

To build on these still-tentative partnerships between the religious and secular worlds will take work – a lot more work than we’ve done so far. The tensions and suspicions on each side of the religious divide will have to be squarely addressed, and each side will need to accept some ground rules for collaboration.

While I’ve already laid out some of the work that progressives need to do on this, I that the conservative leaders of the Religious Right will need to acknowledge a few things as well.

For one, they need to understand the critical role that the separation of church and state has played in preserving not only our democracy, but the robustness of our religious practice. That during our founding, it was not the atheists or the civil libertarians who were the most effective champions of this separation; it was the persecuted religious minorities, Baptists like John Leland, who were most concerned that any state-sponsored religion might hinder their ability to practice their faith.

Moreover, given the increasing diversity of America’s population, the dangers of sectarianism have never been greater. Whatever we once were, we are no longer just a Christian nation; we are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.

And even if we did have only Christians within our borders, who’s Christianity would we teach in the schools? James Dobson’s, or Al Sharpton’s? Which passages of Scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Levitacus, which suggests slavery is ok and that eating shellfish is abomination? How about Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount – a passage so radical that it’s doubtful that our Defense Department would survive its application?

This brings me to my second point. Democracy demands that the religiously motivated translate their concerns into universal, rather than religion-specific, values. It requires that their proposals be subject to argument, and amenable to reason. I may be opposed to abortion for religious reasons, but if I seek to pass a law banning the practice, I cannot simply point to the teachings of my church or evoke God’s will. I have to explain why abortion violates some principle that is accessible to people of all faiths, including those with no faith at all.

This may be difficult for those who believe in the inerrancy of the Bible, as many evangelicals do. But in a pluralistic democracy, we have no choice. Politics depends on our ability to persuade each other of common aims based on a common reality. It involves the compromise, the art of the possible. At some fundamental level, religion does not allow for compromise. It insists on the impossible. If God has spoken, then followers are expected to live up to God’s edicts, regardless of the consequences. To base one’s life on such uncompromising commitments may be sublime; to base our policy making on such commitments would be a dangerous thing.

We all know the story of Abraham and Isaac. Abraham is ordered by God to offer up his only son, and without argument, he takes Isaac to the mountaintop, binds him to an altar, and raises his knife, prepared to act as God has commanded.

Of course, in the end God sends down an angel to intercede at the very last minute, and Abraham passes God’s test of devotion.

But it’s fair to say that if any of us saw a twenty-first century Abraham raising the knife on the roof of his apartment building, we would, at the very least, call the police and expect the Department of Children and Family Services to take Isaac away from Abraham. We would do so because we do not hear what Abraham hears, do not see what Abraham sees, true as those experiences may be. So the best we can do is act in accordance with those things that are possible for all of us to know, be it common laws or basic reason.

Finally, any reconciliation between faith and democratic pluralism requires some sense of proportion.

This goes for both sides.

Even those who claim the Bible’s inerrancy make distinctions between Scriptural edicts, a sense that some passages – the Ten Commandments, say, or a belief in Christ’s divinity – are central to Christian faith, while others are more culturally specific and may be modified to accommodate modern life.

The American people intuitively understand this, which is why the majority of Catholics practice birth control and some of those opposed to gay marriage nevertheless are opposed to a Constitutional amendment to ban it. Religious leadership need not accept such wisdom in counseling their flocks, but they should recognize this wisdom in their politics.

But a sense of proportion should also guide those who police the boundaries between church and state. Not every mention of God in public is a breach to the wall of separation – context matters. It is doubtful that children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance feel oppressed or brainwashed as a consequence of muttering the phrase "under God"; I certainly didn’t. Having voluntary student prayer groups using school property to meet should not be a threat, any more than its use by the High School Republicans should threaten Democrats. And one can envision certain faith-based programs – targeting ex-offenders or substance abusers – that offer a uniquely powerful way of solving problems.

So we all have some work to do here. But I am hopeful that we can bridge the gaps that exist and overcome the prejudices each of us bring to this debate. And I have faith that millions of believing Americans want that to happen. No matter how religious they may or may not be, people are tired of seeing faith used as a tool to attack and belittle and divide – they’re tired of hearing folks deliver more screed than sermon. Because in the end, that’s not how they think about faith in their own lives.

.

So let me end with another interaction I had during my campaign. A few days after I won the Democratic nomination in my U.S. Senate race, I received an email from a doctor at the University of Chicago Medical School that said the following:

“Congratulations on your overwhelming and inspiring primary win. I was happy to vote for you, and I will tell you that I am seriously considering voting for you in the general election. I write to express my concerns that may, in the end, prevent me from supporting you".

The doctor described himself as a Christian who understood his commitments to be "totalizing". His faith led him to a strong opposition to abortion and gay marriage, although he said that his faith also led him to question the idolatry of the free market and quick resort to militarism that seemed to characterize much of President Bush’s foreign policy.

But the reason the doctor was considering not voting for me was not simply my position on abortion. Rather, he had read an entry that my campaign had posted on my website, which suggested that I would fight “right wing ideologues who want to take away a woman’s right to choose". He went on to write:

“I sense that you have a strong sense of justice…and I also sense that you are a fair minded person with a high regard for reason…Whatever your convictions, if you truly believe that those who oppose abortion are all ideologues driven by perverse desires to inflict suffering on women, then you, in my judgment, are not fair-minded….You know that we enter times that are fraught with possibilities for good and for harm, times when we are struggling to make sense of a common polity in the context of plurality, when we are unsure of what grounds we have for making any claims that involve others…I do not ask at this point that you oppose abortion, only that you speak about this issue in fair-minded words".

I checked my web-site and found the offending words. My staff had written them to summarize my pro-choice position during the Democratic primary, at a time when some of my opponents were questioning my commitment to protect Roe v. Wade.

Re-reading the doctor’s letter, though, I felt a pang of shame. It is people like him who are looking for a deeper, fuller conversation about religion in this country. They may not change their positions, but they are willing to listen and learn from those who are willing to speak in reasonable terms – those who know of the central and awesome place that God holds in the lives of so many, and who refuse to treat faith as simply another political issue with which to score points.

I wrote back to the doctor and thanked him for his advice. The next day, I circulated the email to my staff and changed the language on my website to state in clear but simple terms my pro-choice position. And that night, before I went to bed, I said a prayer of my own – a prayer that I might extend the same presumption of good faith to others that the doctor had extended to me.

It is a prayer I still say for America today – a hope that we can live with one another in a way that reconciles the beliefs of each with the good of all. It’s a prayer worth praying, and a conversation worth having in this country in the months and years to come. Thank you.

Blessings

Summer. It's a beautiful thing. These past few weeks, the Lord has blessed me beyond compare. 3 weeks ago I was working at Crowell desk, just answering phone calls, doing the same old stuff, and I got a phone call from a nice woman asking if there would be a Moody student willing to stay at her apartment and take care of her pets while she went on vacation for a month. Least to say, I took up the offer! Long story short, I have been living it up the last week in a gorgeous 3-bedroom apartment in the Gold Coast on the 22nd floor of a posh high rise. I can see the whole city from the apartment and can see the sun rise over the lake in the morning. On top of all that, she has a car that she wants me to drive and I have been out and about the city in a 2-seater convertible Mercedes Benz!!

Thank you Lord for these extravagances. I undoubtedly do not deserve them, but I will enjoy them while they last!


Party at my place!

ponderings.

As I sit here day after day, on the same chair, in the same desk, doing the same things, working my life away, I get to pondering. What does God have for me in this life? Am I meant to be a missionary midwife in Africa? Or am I meant to stay in the states, become a pastor's wife and work with underprivileged children and unwed mothers? Does he want me to go to nursing school and travel to the Philippines? Does he want me to play my viola in a worship band in Chicago?

There are so many possibilities, so many opportunities, so many choices. Where is the manual to life? Can't I just google "Monica's Life" and get answers? Of course not. The Lord likes to make it tricky... Or at least in my little puny mind. I know that I will never know all there is to know about God and all there is to know about my future... but I have this little incling that I may find something in that little book called the Bible...

those are my ramblings for the day.

Conclusion: read that book.

"It is an achievement for a man to do his duty on earth irrespective of the consequences."
-Nelson Mandela

The Gospel or Cotton Candy: Joel Osteen's Prosperity Gospel

When you think of God, what do you think of? Loving, merciful, powerful, kind? Don't you also think of just, sovereign, and redemptive? I am so sick of preachers such as Joel Osteen (who, by the way, will make over $10 million in tour sales this year). giving the Christian faith a sappy boneless twist. He paints only half of the picture. Only half of the redemptive plan of humanity. He says that Christianity is all about living "your best life now" and his books are all about 7 easy steps to live the best life you can. You may ask what is wrong with that? There isn't anything about wanting to live the best life you can, but when you label the best life in terms of money and fame, it gets a little shady. In Colossians 3:2, it says set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

Christ lived a life of poverty. He knew that his disciple's lives were going to be hard because they were living a life opposite of the world. Should we deny the fact that 11 out of the 12 disciples died for the cause of Christ? Should we deny the words of Jesus when he countlessly exhorted the rich and applauded the poor? Should we forget it when He said that "I tell you again, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 19:24) It is easy to understand an accept the part of God that loves us and wants the best for us, but its hard to accept the God of justice and the one who hates sin. Osteen said that he doesn't want to bombard people with the their sin. He wants to show them that all they have to do is think good thoughts, be a better person, and God will bless you. When did the gospel become about us? Becoming a Christian is about surrendering the control of our lives up to God to pilot.

Just a thought..

Deepness.

How deep should relationships go? Should we have different types of relationships? Ones that we can go deep with and share our hearts desires and others with whom we can just have fun? I'm torn. Deep or fun? I want both...

Midwife?

I know I have been called. Called to reach for something higher than myself. Something beyond the mundane, beyond the comfortable. From an early age I knew I was to help people. I had not in my wildest of dreams thought to be traveling the world reaching others for Christ, but His ways are mysterious. Here I sit in my college dorm ready for the world. I want to go! I want to be out there reaching others..... but I'm stuck writing a research paper. And what does it happen to talk about? reaching others. I'm here writing about what I really just want to be doing. God give me peace to understand and accept my current situation.

God has put on my heart something which i never thought existed.... midwifery. I want to reach out to women by giving them an incalculable gift, a safe delivery. The infant/maternal mortality rates in developing countries are low and have been for years. Something practical but life-giving! I have been praying that God would give me direction in what kind of missions he wants me in. I think I've got it.... missions midwifery.

On another note, this song hit me hard this week.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.

Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!

Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God

Back....

So Im back at Moody, ready for a challenge. I have been thrust into a busy schedule wit 18 credit hours, work 3 days a week, PCM, and Gospel Choir. Kind of crazy... but all worth it.